Well, well, well... here we are...

I had a friend tell me that I should be a writer. That I should start blogging to start me off on that path. This friend told me this and then said something to the effect of, "But you don't have to listen to me... I know we haven't known each other for very long, and I'm not assuming that I know you that well or that we're BFF's or something."

Um... seriously? First off, we've been hanging out and, on many occasions, pouring our hearts out to each other for a little under a year; that's plenty long, in my eyes. Second, she does know me that well, obviously. Third, I do know she's become an amazingly close friend in the short amount of time I've known her. And, fourth, I don't really make casual friends.

So, there!

Anywho, here I am following her advice. I love to write. And those of you who are reading this and personally know me, know I love to read. And, if you didn't know, I'm sure you wouldn't be surprised to learn that I've secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) harbored a desire to be an author. For a book whore like me (yes, I did just say that), what better kind of life could there be than to create books? I mean, after all, books are my first true love (don't tell Matt).

But, I really, really, REALLY, lack the discipline so far in my life to apply myself wholeheartedly to something.

That seems to be changing, though, but more on that later.

For those who don't know me, who just stumbled upon my selfish blog, let me introduce myself. My name is Kendra. I am a 25 year old woman who has been told and truly feels older than her years. I am married to a man I desperately love. Although, at some times, not so much... but isn't that the case in ALL relationships? I mean, otherwise it would get boring.

We have a GORGEOUS (and no, I am NOT biased) 15 month old daughter who is amazingly advanced/smart/genius/insert-any-parent's-ranting-and-ravings-about-how-"special"-their-kid-is-here. But really, she is. And again, I'm not biased. You'll just have to trust me on this. We have two cats, Bic and Willie (both girls... don't ask), who are crazy and loving and annoying and are just as much our children as our own flesh and blood is.

My husband, Matt, is a concrete cutter and 14 years older than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know how big of an age gap that is. But really, when a 25 year old woman who's more mature than her physical age is married to a 39 year old man who's less mature than his physical age, what does it matter? I'm sure we meet somewhere in the middle. Although the references to things, people, places, and sayings I have no clue about because I'm from a different generation can get annoying.

I don't work... almost three years ago I was hit by a drunk driver and broke both my ankles. My left ankle was actually completely crushed and has three surgeries on it so far and more on the horizon. But that's a topic for another post. Instead, I stay home with my daughter and I couldn't be happier. Well, now that I'm on medication. No, really, I'm not kidding... I've had a lesser variation of bi-polarity for years and years that was misdiagnoised as only depression and then full on bi-polarity. But now that we have a better idea of what it is, well, it's a lot easier to deal with it. I have no shame in saying I need medical help. Between medication and therapy, I'm happy. Without it, I feel unable to control my emotions. In the past, I haven't wanted to be on medication. I wanted to be able to handle it myself. But with my daughter in the picture now, I realize that what I want is superseeded by what she needs. Which is the reason I CAN'T take the pain medication I should be on for my ankles. I can't chance not being able to function well enough to take care of her because I'm too doped up. As a result, I'm usually in a lot of pain, but I've gotten used to it, I guess, and I know my limits. I know when I'm having a good day and I take advantage of it and go out with my daughter and my husband. I know when I'm having a bad day and I stay off my ankle as much as possible.

I've been told that I shouldn't share as much as I share, such as the paragraph above. That person will know who she is when she reads this and I want you to know this: I value your opinion and I even agree with it at times. This blog will be a diary of sorts, a jumping off point, too, in my quest to better myself and go after what I want: to be a writer. In that, I will have to bear all. I won't have the option to hold anything back. Sure, I'll probably change names or simply not reveal who I'm talking about (like now) out of respect for the other person's privacy. But when it comes to me and how I'm feeling or what I'm going through, I'm realizing that I'm the best material I have for now. And if there are people out there in my life who read this and want to somehow use it against me... well, I don't really think they can anymore. I've been changing lately and I don't think it will really affect me too much.

And, besides, I have a story to tell. Assuming I do write my story and get it published AND sold, I sincerely hope I can make the transition to creating fictional work... I don't want to be a one shot deal. But for now, I'm all I've got. And I've been burning to tell my story for years...............